


A Starship to Destiny

by jazzypizzaz



Category: Glee
Genre: Chance Meetings, F/M, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1601015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzypizzaz/pseuds/jazzypizzaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tina auditions for Song of Solomon with a surprising co-star.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Starship to Destiny

**Author's Note:**

> I know nothing about television production. Please forgive the liberties I've taken here. Thanks so much to chemiglee for some last minute editing help!

 

Tina bullshits her way through the studio.  It isn’t hard, seeing as she already knows all the details about the show and she knows the names of the people she’ll ambush with her talent.  Of course, her [steampunk ensemble](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youknowyoulovefashion.com%2Fstorage%2Fglee%2F04x19%2F0419Tina1.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youknowyoulovefashion.com%2Fglee%2Ftag%2Fshelby&h=413&w=500&tbnid=Iko7TmWF-xqGmM%3A&zoom=1&docid=09DHOFGVHPRYiM&ei=RMJvU97ACs2VyATluYK4Cw&tbm=isch&ved=0CFgQMygAMAA&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=3266&page=1&start=0&ndsp=25)\-- cleverly reworked with black, blue, and silver to appear cyberpunk instead-- doesn’t hurt either.

 

She looks the part, she has the script memorized, and she’s done enough covert research (cyberstalking) to figure out when and where auditions are.

 

There’s only one problem.  She doesn’t technically have an appointment.  

 

But Yahweh helps those who help themselves, right?

 

Over the past two days, Rachel spilled everything to Kurt about her audition; Kurt then complained about it to Blaine; and finally Blaine brought it up in passing with Tina during their weekly gossip date.  Tina then wasted no time in calling Rachel and convincing her to dish every detail about the audition.

 

Rachel, of course, was only too happy to have someone else to rant about how awful it was--as well as overnight the script Lee Paulblatt had given her:

 

_“You are not going to believe the dialogue in this show.  I mean, how many made-up words can you include in a sentence before it basically becomes its own language??  I speak three real languages, thank you very much, why do I need to learn Stormaggedon or whatever too?  Also a script ahead of time would have been great, but no!  Instead, I fly all the way out there just to make a fool of myself!  Unbelievable… Uuhhh huh…. yeah… yeah sure, I’ll mail you the script.  God I can’t bear to look at it for another second, it’s a constant reminder of my rising star falling out of the sky into a ball of ash--  What?--  Yeah, it has the names of all the producers and writers on the front cover…. uh yeah I still have the map of the studio.  Oh!  And what about me made Lee think ‘space whore’?  Do I look like an alien?  Oh god it’s my nose again isn’t it?”_

 

And so on.  Tina had to listen to Rachel rant for over an hour, but as much as Rachel obviously didn’t want the part, Tina knew Rachel would be angry if Tina asked her to set up an official audition.  ( _“If I never have to talk to Lee Paulblatt with his terrible suggestions again, it will be too soon!”_ )  Instead, through a clever combination of harassing various behind the scenes people Puck put her in touch with and trolling the forums of DesparateHollywoodActors.com, Tina was able to weasel out all the information she needed to sneak into the studio herself and wow them all with her obvious starpower.  

 

Rachel would understand, after Tina got the part.  Rachel still has Funny Girl, and it’s what Rachel would have done if their roles were reversed.

 

To bolster her confidence, Tina thinks through all the steps she took to make it this far.  She makes her way past all the nosey people asking her what she’s doing here, then takes a deep breath before flinging the doors open to the conference room.  Make a memorable entrance-- check!

 

“Hello Lee!  Geri, Philip, also nice to finally meet you.  I’ve so been looking forward to this audition.  I can’t wait to be your Galadriel!”  Tina reaches out and shakes each of the studio executives’ hands, her hat wobbling dangerously with the movement.

 

“Uhhh _hello_ , and might I ask just who do you think you are?     _Where_ is Felicia Day?  The schedule says that _Felicia Day_ has this audition time.  Where is Felicia Day and _why can’t you do your job Katrina?_ ”  Lee Paulblatt holds a hand up, while he directs his attention to a small girl in a plaid skirt whose eyes are wide and scared beneath her giant spectacles.  Tina’s eyes widen, but she doesn’t let it intimidate her.  Nothing is going to stop Tina from being  fantastic in this audition.

 

“It’s Ka-Katya.  And it _is_ supposed to be Felicia Day right now, and I don’t know who--”  The assistant says, flipping frantically through the papers on her clipboard.  Her phone buzzes and her eyes widen as she reads the message. “Oooh, oh.  I guess Felicia emailed me an hour ago--”

 

“Who in HR do I have to fire to get an assistant who can just assist me for once? Hmm?”  Lee says, his voice even and sarcastic.  He sighs a deep, put-upon sigh, then turns to Tina.  “Well, little miss, you have until Felicia Day decides to show up to convince me that you’re right for the part.”

 

Tina beams.  She knows Felicia wouldn’t be here for at least an hour.

 

(Yesterday, Felicia Day had tweeted “Scifi lovers- a hot new space opera airs this fall! You heard it from me 1st. Maybe you’ll even see someone familiar in a starring role. ^_^ More info tmrw!”  Tina had enlisted Artie’s help in direct messaging her this morning through Wil Wheaton’s account. (Artie hacked in through the Heartbleed loophole, mostly to prove he could.)  She managed to glean from Felicia that she was in fact auditioning for _Song of Solomon_ then convinced Felicia to meet “Wil” across town to discuss an urgent issue with the TableTop web series.  Even if she called Wil on the way, it was sure to buy Tina at least a little time.)

 

Everything was working out according to plan.  Except for one missing face.

 

“Yes of course!  I’m already off-book, so just let me know the scene.  Will I be reading with Andrew as my Solomon or just solo today?”  Tina inquires, glancing around the room.

 

“Andrew?  Cosgrove?  No, no, he took a better offer with Netflix doing some _Firefly_ knock-off, but we’re not going to worry about online media butting in on our plans today, now are we?”  Lee clears his throat, then glances at his watch.  “Our new Solomon is Cooper, who iiiis running late.  As per usual.  Seriously people what does it take for a modicum of professionalism around here, I mean--”

 

The doors fling open, and a familiar, blue-eyed man bursts into the room.  “Nobody panic!  Captain Dax Andress is here to pilot us towards destiny!”  The man puts his hands on his hips, thrusting his chest forward and throwing a dashing grin towards the executive.

 

“He’s insisting on being in character twenty-four-seven, but I’ve found it’s easier if you just humor him.  He has exactly the kind of gung-ho attitude I like to see, remember that.”  Lee says to Tina in an aside.  He sighs and gestures for her to begin.  “Let’s take it from their first scene together, shall we?”

 

Tina is stuck gaping at ‘Captain Dax’.  “ _Cooper_?  Cooper Anderson??  Wow it’s so great to see you here!  It’s such an honor to be auditioning with you.  I’m a friend of Blaine’s, Tina Cohen-Chang, remember me?”  

 

She holds out her hand, eyes wide in awe, but Cooper breaks into a wide grin and pulls her into a bear hug.

 

“Tay Tay!”  Cooper talking to the executives over her head: “This is my little brother’s girlfriend!  Well, he’s gay, so it’s complicated, but I can vouch for her talent myself.  Everything she knows she learned from my acting lessons!”

 

Lee raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t comment.  

 

Cooper finally releases Tina.  Tina regains herself, and says, “Actually I am Galadriel the Starmorian, who let it be known as the last of her kind is quite single, but I can feel the sexual tension between us Captain Dax!  Let’s take to the stars!”  

 

Tina points to the sky dramatically.  Cooper beams so brightly, his smile could power a space station.

 

“You gonna just stand there, or are you gonna pass me the warp-core? Bffbrrrpvffff…” Cooper jumps to the side of her, then flings his arms around as if pulling multiple imaginary levers.  He makes all the engine noises himself. “Would you care to explain what went on back there? Oh, don't play coy, Galadriel.”  

 

He takes on hand off a lever to point at her, not making direct eye contact. “You Starmorians may like to beat around the bush, but I always prefer a straight shooter. Pheww! Pheww! Pew!”

 

“Cooper! Cooper, I mean Captain.  What did I tell you?  You’re not actually shooting anything in this scene, it’s the engine room.  Whatever, it will make more sense when we have props.  I like the energy, just continue.”  

 

Lee waves them on.  Tina enunciates every word jabbing her hand at Cooper sharply.  

“Then let me be perfectly clear.  I am NOT just some space trash you picked up in the Triaaaaangulum Sector! I am a princess of the royal house Antyrexx--” Lee mouths the word along with Tina, then gives her a thumbs up when she says it correctly without missing a beat. “I am the last Starmorian, and I will not risk my life and the future of my people because of some dream locked in your head and a flute that will never avenge the destruction of my planet.”  

 

Tina makes a fist and closes her eyes on the last part, attempting to showcase the internal pain of total loss.  She imagines alien children running from their mothers as fire devours their villages, until all that’s left is a barren wasteland with Galadriel standing tall and defiant amongst the wreckage.

 

“Lately, I've only dreamt of one thing.”  Cooper glances at the audience, flashes a dashing smile and winks, then grabs Tina’s face with both hands and looks intensely into her eyes.  He pauses for longer than Tina thinks is really necessary-- she can only keep her lips puckered for so long-- then says the next line quietly, in a voice that sounds startlingly sincere. “And that's doing this.”

 

Cooper jams their faces together.  Tina throws her arms around his neck, and starts making out with him with full tongue.  They suck and slurp and give it their all.  The assistant coughs and looks away.  Geri the executive drops her pen and watches them intently with her mouth slightly open.  Phillip shifts in his chair awkwardly, then checks his wristwatch once Tina and Cooper don’t stop right away.  Lee furrows his brow and rubs his chin thoughtfully.

 

After a full minute, Tina jerks her face away abruptly, their lips giving a SMACK as the suction breaks.  Cooper’s eyes are still closed and he leans towards her as she pulls away, his eyes fluttering open.  She raises her eyebrows at him--your line!-- but he stares at her for a second longer, flummoxed, before clearing his throat and speaking.

 

“Galadriel, I promise on my father’s lost life, that I will avenge your people if it’s the last thing I do.”  His voice has that same quiet intensity, which is unlike how she’s ever seen Cooper act before in their brief encounters.  For a moment she loses herself, forgetting she isn’t an angry space princess travelling through the stars with a handsome, devil-may-care starship captain.

 

“Weeeeellll, that was certainly something different!   Braaavo!”  Lee claps a bit, his face ecstatic.  “That’s more chemistry than the last three auditions put together.  Yowza.  Hmm, you’re no Felicia, but I’m assuming you’ll work for less money, right?  Wait, don’t answer, I’m just going to put you down for a yes for the cheap labor, that means more for the special effects budget.”  

 

He gestures rapidly at Katya, “Katrina here will send you contracts to sign, but I think you’re our new stars! Okay, bye now!  Goodbye, I have better things to do. Bye.”   Lee stalks out of the room without another glance, Katya at his heels.  The other executives, who had mentally checked out after the kiss, file out behind him while checking their Blackberries.

 

“Assuming Blaine won’t be jealous, would you mind if I show you around this little town of mine?  Take a picture of a blank square at the Walk of Fame where our handprints are going to be, maybe go back to my swanky bachelor pad?  I’m kind of a big deal around here.  I’ll even sign your script.”  Cooper flashes her his show grin, all teeth and sunflare, but the way it waivers for a moment belies genuine intrigue underneath the glitz.

 

“Yeah sure, my plane doesn’t leave until later.  You’re sure you’re not gay, right?  I don’t know how it works with brothers, but Blaine made me promise that I ask the next guy I go out with directly.”  

 

Tina smiles sweetly as Cooper shakes his head quickly.  They walk arm in arm out the door, and Tina reschedules her flight for the next day.

 


End file.
